an awful rowing toward god (for Anne), 108" x 76", oil on canvas, Rico '12
It's been awhile since I updated this blog. Life, what can be said? Work, kids, family, struggle and the day often feels already over in the dark pre-dawn as I muster my resolve sipping black coffee in the fleeting silence. I've let the bastards get me down as of late, but no more.
I had what I can only describe as a moment of clarity in rural Wisconsin a few weeks ago. I awoke to the most sublime silence, and lay motionless in its sustained presence for what seemed like hours. I saw the whole of my life as if from some high peak; the years behind, and the present, and short years to come. I saw all of this with no judgement or emotion, I simply saw. It's taken me a few weeks to come down from the mountain and to understand that moment. I don't know that I fully do now, nor if I'm ever meant to. But I came back and I was able to complete a painting with which I had been wresting for some time.
I'm lonely here. While I absolutely need my solitude, I am also a very social being whose friends are my lifeline to humanity. I see old friends too seldom. New friends too; as I unable to get to NYC often enough. The isolation at times is crippling.
This is the third, and for the moment the final large canvas. I've learned a great deal from this body of work, and I think it is taking me someplace significant. Tomorrow night I'll stretch some new canvases and go further.
