May 8, 2012

Girls on bikes in the late spring sun; brown skinned, long-legged giggly co-conspirators in the waining days of the school year.  Next week I'll be on two islands; the first a deserted beach and then a dense concrete jungle.  The nights are late, and I have to force myself to bed; for I have promises to keep.

Silver.  The dream state luster dim glow beneath high rafters and the trails of cigar smoke carried away on a rare breeze.  I can never stand still except when in the moments I'm still, still, the moments of total being and non-self.  Sometimes I'm lost in the work, sometimes above it, around it, inside it and outside too.  The hardware store standing among the containers and tools and implements explaining -rather trying to explain that I don't want to use this product or that trowel for its intended purpose.  This is play; this is life and living and being and being a child and being alive in a world I woke up and found myself marooned on.  Neverland seems so far away; I miss my lost boys except when my girls remind me how to play again...then I fly.

I'm always interested in the context of materials and how I can play with that.  Nasty, toxic shit that I-don't-know-if-it-will-work type experiments.  Play.  Reach.  See.  Another idea comes along, another path (where was I going?) presents itself and I take it, -what the hell?  I keep trying to get lost but somehow I never make that scene.  I come from the water, so water always finds its way.

I'm there in the last hours of each day and I'm alive.  I tell you time stops sometimes there; it's magical.  Then back home and sometimes read books into the wee hours and sometimes drink a beer or whiskey to get back down to this earth where I have to go to work the next day and breakfast/school/work/dinner/bedtime comes and goes too quickly...all too quickly.

So my daughters are six and precocious and wicked smart and lovely and sneaky and funny and beautiful and we will paint pictures in the June sun in the backyard.  At night I will smoke cigars in the moonlight and maybe drink rum and move paint and see what happens.