no fear of flying

The relations have left, the house is quiet and slowly getting back to order.  The tooth fairy is paying a double visit tonight.  The after-christmas crash hit with full force and all my wonderful girls are sleeping upstairs.

So damn much going on and so little I can talk about.  Breaking points have been reached, changes are being made, so it goes.  I've tried for years to compartmentalize my life; allowing some people access to some parts and others to an avatar persona I maintain for my day job.  I've realized that this can no longer be; that it sequesters the beautiful, true, powerful aspects of my soul and hides my work from the light of day.  That avatar will soon be dead; good riddance.   I cannot wait to be free of him.

The work in the studio is amazing and true and a painting sold from the Greenville condo model.  There's always that momentary affirmation after a sale, then you cash the check and go back to work and try to push the experience from your mind.  I want desperately to stay on the epic scale, -to make another 3 the same size as the previous ones.  I see it in my mind; all of them in a room, and it is profound.  But there is the pressure to work on a smaller scale, to make works for the smaller budget clients and when the dust settles after the New Year perhaps I will be able to see these options more clearly.

I booked my flight and hotel for NYC in March to see this artist's exhibition.  Just knowing I will be in the city so soon gives my soul wings at a time when I desperately need it.  There will be good art and good times with friends old and new.

I'm in the sweet spot of the calendar year; those days and nights between holidays where everything just feels suspended.   I've been flattening out the blacks on the two 5' x 4' canvases and I'm intrigued by the sense of downward drag of the composition in one of them.  There's something thematic going on, and I am trying to both understand it and not over-analyze it.

I'm attending an Icarus Session on January 2nd in Greenville.  Everything in my life feels as if it is moving toward significant and profound change.  As in art, I feel I don't know what is going to happen next...and I love it.