purple rain

Got back to work last night, and immediately felt the difference in mood. I confess that when I conceived of getting 50 canvases I thought I would plow through them, but what has happened instead is that I'm really digging in. I recently read Steven Pressfield's "Do the Work," which I highly recommend to any artist. In it he puts forth the position that the more resistance one feels when engaging in a creative endeavor, the more significant that endeavor must be. I have been feeling tremendous resistance in the studio and with my studio practice as of late.

I watch friends succeed, I watch really crappy artists succeed wildly, and I keep wondering where my place in all of this is. Deep are the insecurities and heavy are the doubts, but I keep showing up to do the work; I keep throwing everything I've got into it.

The last few canvases are taking on this really juicy, icing-like quality that I find interesting. They have a tactile allure that is probably very difficult to resist, and should they be shown publicly, I wonder how difficult it might be for people to fore go the primal urge to touch. I like that. I like work that draws people in on more than one level. Hopefully, I can make work that does that.

The nights are wonderfully cool right now. I need to work as much as possible. I keep building these surfaces up and then adding layer upon layer of varnish. I want to see how far I can take it until it all falls apart. Hopefully I can take it to that brink without going over.